Comedians Utopia
The best place for comedy and general humor of all kinds
 
 
 
My name is Paul.  The following has been edited since i wrote it.  It is cleaner humor now.  Enjoy...
 
 

  My life when it comes down to it, isn't really the heaven it's put up to be.  My idea of heaven
is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the mechanics German, the lovers Italian
and it's all organized by the Swiss.  Hell, on the other hand is where the chefs are British, the
mechanics French, the lover's Swiss, the police German and it's all organized by the Italians!

 
 
 
 

  My health through my younger years wasn't really up to scratch when I moved to England.
I came down with a cold every other week.  In year 9 I must have been off school at least
six times.  When I got to year 10, I decided that year I would go for full attendance.
 

Oh boy, what a mistake that was.  I kept the decision, but recovering from a cold while
being told worthless crap about metals rusting, is not my idea of fun.
 
 
 

  Have you ever thought what your last words would be?  I think about it all the time.  I
want then to be tough.  Something like, "Clip the red wire first!" or "I can kick all your
butts.".  Knowing me though, I'd end up messing it up.  I'll probably be quoted, "One small
Step for a... oh crap, What was it..?!".
  One thing i don't want to do is die by accident.  You get the piss taken out of you so
much, because you've had no time to prepare!  To think you come to your dismal end with
what to say but, "Pull the pin and count to what?" or "Are you sure the power's off?".
 
 
 
 
 

  Every since... well... ever since ever, i've had a pessimistic view on every thing.  I don't
know why, but i'm sure it's not a good reason.  My friends and family are happy a lot of
the time.  That really pisses me off.  So i decided to help them see the darkness, in every.  I
feel it's my duty to the world.
  My other duty to the world is to hire some form of hit man to splat my little brother Liam
all over  the curb, but enough about me...
 
 
 
Please remeber that the contence of these pages are jokes and shouldn't be applied to real life.
Liam...put down that chain saw!!  LIAM!!

Revenge Tactics From The Bandit         *NEW*
 
Stupid Things Done By Stupid People    *NEW*
 
Your Sent In Jokes                                  *NEW*

A tribute to a king:  Woody Allen

Johnny's page

 
 

 

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